Nov. 20th, 2012

adala_albahar: (forgetmenots)
(CW cont. and making light of scary things because I need to do this rn)

So this is like the first ever time and probably the last this journal will be used to write out real life stuff, but plurk is a bit too short and stuff to do it and I want to get my thoughts in order and stuff because the last days have been crazy and my mum has brought me back to my family home, which is good because I can convince them all I am fine but bad because Elle is about the only person in the world I feel comfortable curling up on and crying.

So this all started when I woke up at 7am curled up in a sleeping bag on the floor of a guide hut in pain going "BODY Y U DO THIS NOW?! as eight tiny Rainbow clambered out of pop up tents being like ITS MORNING CAN WE GET UP NOW?! I managed to hide the fact I was in pain and ill and tried to help out as much as possible before leaving early to work.

I went to work for an hour and a half before I was so dizzy I went to find my supervisor to tell them, they let me go home and said it was probably a sickness bug that's been going round. I went home feeling bad for leaving work and flopped on the couch. I was sick all day, throwing up etc and yet the pain in my stomach didn't go away.

About 8ish I gave up on sleeping and went down to whine at Elle and Lauren. Luckily they know me well and know that with my level of pain tolerance and my hatred of admitting weakness they figured out something was quite wrong.

We thought about waiting to the morning before going to a GP but when Elle ran my symptoms through the NHS checkers all signs pointed to going to get treatment, so we rang the out of hours NHS direct people and after asking Elle a million questions, then ringing back and asking me a million questions all which Elle had already asked from the online checker...

Anyways they gave me an appointment for 11:10 and Elle rang her parents who offered to drive me to the doctors. I think it was about 9 30pm by this time? The next hour was incredibly long and I spent most of it whimpering in pain and trying not to worry Elle and Lauren but I think by that point we had completely passed panicking.

Her parents came and drove me to the hospital, they were running behind so what followed was more curling up this time on a hard bench and Elle's lap and whimpering in pain. I went to see the doctor who poked at me and asked if I was pregnant. Then refused to believe me when I said no way. Then even after me telling him I wasn't sexually active and working out me and Elle were a couple still did a pregnancy test just to be sure. I humoured him though I think he was cheaky when I stood up giving consent but I'd never had a pregnancy test before and so I didn't know what it entailed!

Anyways he said there was a risk it was appendicitis and so they were going to take me into hospital. I'd never ever been to hospital properly before, never had anything I couldn't bounce back from in a day or three. The worst I'd ever had was food poisoning. So I was kind of terrified. I'd remembered to ring my parents to say I was going to the doctors and given Elle my parents numbers so they could tell them what was happening. So we rang my mum who was paniking and thus began my worry about worrying everyone.

I saw another doctor who took blood and messed up finding my vein, she almost made Elle faint and then shouted at her because she was mean. :| She did let her come up to the ward with me though which was good because by this time I was trying not to freak out.

I was taken up onto the ward and Elle had to leave me, at which point I threw up all the water I'd managed to drink since about 7... and a few nurses came to take blood pressure and ask me the same million questions I had been asked like six times already. They still weren't convinced I wasn't pregnant despite an actual test saying so :| Also at one point I was asked if intercourse had hurt today and I blinked at the nurse in utter confusion before I realised what he meant.

Then wondered why someone claiming level 8.5 pain spiking to ten would be having sex... because surely...

Anyways then I was told to rest and a doctor would see me soon. I passed out for a couple of hours out of shear exhaustion more than anything and woke up at 4, everything was quiet and I spent twenty minutes wondering if I had been forgotten about because all the other patients on the trolleys were no longer there, so I got up and went to see. The nurse told me the doctors were busy but would be back soon so I went back. But walking had been a bad plan and I spent the next fourty minutes doubled up wanting to be sick and in pain and wondering why this was a good idea because I was in as much pain as before but lacking any hugs.

Anyways at about 5am the nurse came into the room to put a folder away and saw me there and was like "oh pet I thought you were sleeping, most people cry or scream when in pain" and I just sort of shook at her whimpering because I don't do crying or screaming, especially not in front of random people. Anyways she rang the doctor and asked someone to come over even just to prescribe pain relief even if they didn't have time for tests, so a nice doctor called Nancy came and asked me more random questions. Then left, the nurse came to say I'd been prescribed anti nasea tablets and oral morphine and asked me my date of birth (you know just incase I'd been replaced by a ninja lookalike in the five minutes since I'd been asked...) Luckily that stopped the pain and knocked me out.

I woke up at seven to Nancy again asking more questions, pretty much the same one's I'd already been asked, except this time I remembered to tell her I had PCOS which was kinda important but completely slipped my mind. Anyways I was then seen by like 4 more doctors (to make up for the night before apparently) who all asked me the same questions and said they thought it was appendicitis and not to eat or drink anything.

I was moved to the actual ward and hooked up to a drip as I was pretty badly dehydrated by then and also given more morphine which at least kept me out of pain enough to understand what was going on. I asked all the questions (You know since I figured they knew everything about me it was there time to give information) and was actually answered which was good.

I had a minor breakdown after Rebecca; a student nurse went through all the possible risks of my surgery with me, because I realised I wouldn't be allowed to see my mum or Elle or Lauren before having it and got scared, but I stubbornly hid it because I didn't want to scare anyone and Katy's are brave. The anesthesia person then came to tell me all about that and then I was told to put on silly stockings and a gown and then took me to surgery.

I was fine until I was in the anestehesia room. Really I have just sat and watched an episode of Greys Anatomy with my mum and all that calm "Okay we need you to count back from ten" stuff... doesn't happen. It was like a creepy sci fi film with people with needles and masks and despite the fact I knew the mask had oxygen in it I felt like I was suffocating. I did actually begin to cry then and one of the doctors was like "It's okay, I always say try and think of somewhere you want to be instead, like some holiday or country you want to visit" But the only thing that came into my head was "At home with my family and Elle" which made me cry more and then I was asleep.

Anesthesia is really really weird. It's always been one of those things I've been morbidly curious about like "I wonder what it feels like to literally not have any memory of a few hours yet things happen to your body and urgh weird" and it was as weird as I thought.

Also I sorta kinda attacked the doctor who woke me up, but I can't remember that. I woke up to "Katy, can you hear me?" and lots of beeping and I was confused and she was like "It's over can I approach?" And I thought that was a weird question since she was a doctor and no one had asked me that in my stay. And then I remembered I'd had surgery and asked if it was my appendix and what had happened (I like babbled out ten questions in five seconds one being ALSO MY NOSE IS ITCHY CAN I TAKE OFF THIS STUPID MASK?!) and she told me it was out and I was in recovery. She took off the monitoring things and she got to the wires and was like "Just hold still these are tangled. You flailed and thrashed a lot when you first woke, and lashed out, does that happen normally?" And I was like "oops?!" Because I do wake up fighting. Especially if disorientated...

From then on whenever anyone came to do tests when I was asleep they stopped at the curtain and announced their presence so I probably had "violent approach with care" on my chart or something... *makes embarrassed face* Also the mask was completely gone by the time I got to the ward despite the doctor telling me she was leaving it on my head in case I needed it, so I think I maybe passed out a few times in that bubble of memory.

Anyways pretty much once I had been assessed my mum, sister, sisters boyfriend, Elle and Lauren came in because it was still visiting hours and I sort of flailed usefully at them and felt bad for worrying them since they were seeing me at my very worse. I can't really remember much though except I was scared my feet had been chopped off at one point because I couldn't feel my toes... I was also given a menu and my mum took it off me because I wrote my name backwards; a dyslexic trait but one I finally broke when I was about eleven... and then was given more morphine and passed out again.

I was in and out of sleep for two hours or so just waking up for people to do tests, before waking up for dinner which was ikky and realised I'd forgotten how to swallow. Then my mum, Elle and Lauren came back and were relieved to see me looking a lot better. They got me more water and Elle went to track down my belongings since I'd been moved wards after my surgery and so the clothes I'd been wearing and my watch/phone/ear rings weren't with me. A nice nurse found them though and I rang my boss who had rang to see if I could work a 2-10 shift tomorrow (so today) to tell her what had happened. Elle and Lauren were laughing at me apologising for not been able to work...

The two hours went far too quickly, I managed to walk to the bathroom with help from my mum and didn't feel as bad as I thought I would. Once they had gone I went to the bathroom alone and on the way back the nurse was like "Katy? How are you up? You shouldn't be!" And I was like "Oh sorry I didn't know I had to stay in bed I just went to the bathroom!" And she was like "No I didn't mean you weren't allowed I just... you shouldn't be able to walk unaided..."

So yeah apparently I recovered quicker than thought, I then slept pretty well until about 4 when I needed the bathroom but the remote for the bed was on the end and my body had forgotten how to sit up. So I called the nurse and she brought me the other remote, also my shoulder was hurting because I guess it had been pulled in surgery and I have an old injury from when someone tried to "save" me from falling in ninjutsu and yanked me back towards them whilst still in an arm lock...

So I was given my medication early and slept some more. I woke up for breakfast where they managed to mess up weatabix, a feet I was quite impressed at actually. I then slept more and spent the day sleeping, keeping people updated on my discharge and trying not to feel bad that my mum was stealing me back to Cumbria when Elle and Lauren were worried about me.

I think they ended up discharging me because I asked too many questions in the end, keeping that in mind for the rare (hopefully never again) chance I am ever back in hospital. I managed to see Elle and Lauren before I was whisked away and got a doctor note for work as well as medicine. The drive back was okay and I guess I will be here for a week or until I go stir crazy before going back to Manchester and I can go back to work in two weeks. (I feel so bad that the first people to give me a job and I go and end up having surgery when I've never been ill in my life seriously...)

Anyways this is all of my adventures; it was one of those adventures that was mainly scary, far too much pain and baddies to fight and one I don't want to repeat. My mind is now clearer so I am going to sleep. This all still feels like a really weird dream and I half expect to wake up like on the train to work on Sunday morning or something... But yeah...

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adala_albahar

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